Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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