This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
