I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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