from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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