zippers are such a cool invention
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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