Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
