i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
