the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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