Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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