somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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