my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
