I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
