Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
