So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
