god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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