I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
