You're so nebulous sometimes
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
