My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize