Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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