just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
