There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
