Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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