An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
false alarm. still invincible.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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