so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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