All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize