His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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