i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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