He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
