Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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