I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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