All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
