just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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