you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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