We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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