Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
