doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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