I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
