you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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