awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My butt remains clenched, sir.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
its liver damage thursday
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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