It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
