So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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