my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
