i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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