i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
