Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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