At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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