I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
