i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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