My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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