We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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