And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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