her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
