i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
