she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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