About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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