i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize