I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
