Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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