she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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