Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
