i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
