I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
