last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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