Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize